FINESHRINE
by Author-tan
Summary: You feel a tremor within your very soul. Although his mouth says that you've only just met, his eyes speak of years' worth of history between the two of you. You are swallowed in by the curve of his lips, stripped bare to the bone by the intensity of his stare. This, you think, is what it means to feel. (Kawoshin, Rated M for graphic violence, death, etc)


Hello all! Author-tan here. I've been wanting to write a Kawoshin fic for a while, although I didn't expect I'd be writing something like this. Fair warning: **later chapters will be explicitly violent and gory. **That said, enjoy the ride.

**Spoilers:** spoilers for all of the anime and Rebuild.

**Warnings:** (not in this chapter) major character death, explicit violence, attempted murder, self-harm, suicide, gore, body horror, mental breakdown/psychotic break, psychological trauma, swearing

This is an Animverse AU.

Second Person = Shinji

Third Person = Kaworu

* * *

You don't particularly mean to, but you tend to be overwhelmed quite easily.

Unit 01, when you saw her for the first time, was an anomaly beyond all imagination. The sleek, reflective curves of her massive body left you feeling tiny and defenseless. Never before had you felt so insignificant (and in a way, that made sense. Unit 01 was Father's creation, and Father had always made you feel worthless). Her very existence changed your perspective on your father's work, on NERV, on the capability of human beings. The stench of LCL burned your nose and the sounds and vibrations of machinery humming to life in preparation for launch flooded your senses. And then, of all things, they asked you to pilot Unit 01.

You balked instinctively. Any human would be understandably overwhelmed and in denial, as you were. But NERV did not deal with rational human beings, apparently, since you-still very much in shock-were manipulated into piloting Unit 01. The experience was too much for someone with a paper thin psyche, not that you knew it at the time. Piloting destroyed any inner peace and sanity that you had been struggling to hold on to. Unit 01 pulled some feral strength out of you that you didn't know you had, while at the same time disassembling your entire self piece by piece.

Ever since that day, you've become more inclined to feel overwhelmed by situations both large and small. Learning about the Angels. Touji's fury, when you first met. NERV's very existence. The dummy system. Rei's impossible disposition. Asuka, all of Asuka. You even found yourself about to burst into tears that time when the SDAT player wouldn't turn on for half an hour and you swore it was a goner. In particular, you seem to have issues with the other pilots and all the emotional complications that come with them. You've always been afraid to form relationships and get close to people-ha. Despite this internal declaration, you've bonded with Asuka and Rei, Touji and Kensuke. Misato.

The outcome was exactly how you'd predicted-you suffered through the people you became close to. Rei died, only to be replaced by another carbon copy. Asuka barely evaded the psychic attack of the most recent Angel, leaving her confused and conflicted over piloting for weeks (she took her frustration out on you, and the two of you fought like animals until she pulled herself together again). Misato, desperately trying to be a friend, a mother, and a superior to you, all at the same time. Touji and the catastrophe with Unit 03...Kensuke hasn't spoken to you since then. You think he's left town, probably for good. It's kept you up late at night-the thought that maybe the good times don't outweigh the bad, and maybe you shouldn't have even tried caring at all.

It's fair to say you're less than thrilled when Misato summons the three of you to the main control room to announce that the Fifth Child will be arriving tomorrow. You suppress a sigh and slide your gaze to the side, in Asuka's general direction, mind already at work. Will this new pilot be fierce and wild like Asuka? Silent and emotionless like Rei? Unwilling and uncomfortable like yourself? ...Too weak and incompetent, like Touji was?

Asuka, at least, seems interested.

"Why do we need yet another pilot, Misato? The Fourth Child was such a disaster! If those two idiots aren't doing a good enough job, I can pick up their slack. A new pilot will just be troublesome."

Misato calmly and patiently explains that this pilot is SEELE's child, a pilot procured by NERV's higher ups, but you can see the calculating gleam in Asuka's eyes. She's gauging multiple scenarios in her head, figuring out how to stay on top and how to deal with competition, if it comes to that. Misato no longer holds her attention-it belongs to the shadowy silhouette that she is attempting to give shape to in her mind. Rei, unsurprisingly, shows only acceptance on her face. You feel a wave of bitterness at this. _Your_ Rei would have at least spoken.

The three of you are dismissed shortly after, to return to any prior engagements, not that you had any. Japan is quiet for once, with the sudden dearth of Angel attacks. The girls have been restless-NERV has never before gone this long without a single glimpse of an Angel. The thought is depressing, but you and the other pilots have found little to do outside of piloting and school work. For the past few weeks, all you have been called in for are the routine synch tests, and even the homework load from school has dwindled. As such, you lack means of entertainment.

Asuka has taken up the pastime of loudly complaining about how bored she is, in addition to getting into your business and under Kaji's feet. Even Rei has been more visible. Rather than lock herself up in her tiny apartment, she's been wandering through school and headquarters; no doubt just as bored as you and Asuka are. At least you have cello to distract you, though you're quite rusty from lack of practice.

You were planning to put in a few hours of practice today as well, but with the announcement of the Fifth Child, you're suddenly more tired than you can deal with. Collapsing in your room sounds like a good plan, and upon returning to your shared apartment, you do so without a second thought. You fall asleep with your SDAT player still on, trying not to dread the events of tomorrow.

Misato checks in on you long after you've passed out. You don't see the worried frown that crosses her face briefly before being replaced with a tired, blank look. She shuts the door quieter than is necessary on her way out.

The atmosphere the following morning is charged with nervous energy. Misato's already left to pick up the Fifth Child, which is fine, you think. Neither you nor Asuka are in the mood for breakfast. Asuka's tearing at the edge of the table with her nails, an intense look carved into her face. She probably doesn't even realize what she's doing. You are curling and uncurling your toes in uncertainty, resisting the urge to fidget. Touji's close call is still an open wound in your mind. You let out a shaky sigh. You don't know who this new pilot is, but you can only pray that he or she is more like Asuka than any of the other pilots.

Asuka jerks to a halt in her picking, huffs, and drags you out of your seat and through the hallway, making a beeline for the door. She's fed up with waiting. You don't protest-this much is normal at least, and you were anxious to leave, too. There is no conversation between the two of you on the way to headquarters, although your minds are occupied by the same thoughts. When you pass through into NERV, Rei is waiting with Misato, but you can't see any third person accompanying them. Misato is most definitely displeased-her eyes are sharp and unfriendly, her posture stiff.

Asuka makes the same conclusion as you do. "Huh, that dumbass can't even be bothered to show up on ti-"

"Sorry to keep you waiting. SEELE makes a habit of yanking NERV's chain, I'm afraid. I apologize for any inconvenience their petty actions may have caused you."

The voice comes from behind you, and you waste no time in flipping around to set eyes on the person who could only be the Fifth Child. You start a little, surprised by what you see. Asuka is right there with you, straightening her back and narrowing her eyes in speculation, sizing up the newcomer. You can't quite get past his striking appearance.

Although you knew males could be selected as pilots, you surprise yourself by realizing you expected a girl. The boy in front of you is slim and elegant, but far from feminine. And although his words were clearly directed at Misato, he hasn't broken eye contact with you since you turned.

You're slow to take in his appearance, but it's apparent that he's stunningly gorgeous. He's all light tones, from the milky white of his skin to the ash grey strands of his hair. Only his eyes are dark, but you can't quite place the color. He moves towards your group with slow, light steps, taking in his new associates without removing his eyes from yours. It's silly, but you feel as if he's walking towards you and you alone. You don't know how to feel about that.

"Ah, so you're the Fifth Child? Can't say I expected any less of SEELE, taking their goddamn sweet time. I won't hold it against you." Misato breaks the sudden silence. Asuka looks torn between snapping something at the Fifth Child or continuing her assessment. She thankfully chooses the second.

The boy gives a slight but very warm smile. "Yes. I am Kaworu. Nagisa Kaworu." -he's still staring at you, and you begin to fidget, eyes darting.

"Ikari Shinji. I've been looking forward to meeting you."

Your eyes snap to meet his. How could he...how could he have known your name? You are absolutely positive that the two of you have never met before. The question, however, is wiped from your mind when you make eye contact, and suddenly, you find that you are certain of nothing.

Oh. You didn't realize they were red. You expected an odd shade of brown at most, but not this deep shade of red, darker than the ocean. When coupled with the determination to keep your eyes locked...

You feel a tremor within your very soul. Although his mouth says that you've only just met, his eyes speak of years' worth of history between the two of you. You are swallowed in by the curve of his lips, stripped bare to the bone by the intensity of his stare.

This, you think, is what it means to feel.

_To feel embarrassed, you mean,_ your mind supplies unhelpfully, and you can literally feel the burn of a blush spreading from ear to ear. Asuka coughs loudly, and you realize, much to your horror, that you have not yet replied to Nagisa. It's like you've all of a sudden forgotten how to speak, as you fumble to say _something _coherent, no matter how stupid. You can hear Misato struggling to bite back a laugh when you blurt out a reply.

"I-It's a pleasure to meet you, Nagisa. I hope you enjoy your time with us."

_What am I even saying,_ you think. _Enjoy yourself? This is an underground fortress with nothing to do but pilot Eva._

Nagisa's eyes, however, do not show any traces of impatience or cruelty towards such an awkward answer. If anything, his eyes do a cute crinkly thing as his smile widens, and you nearly choke on your own spit. His voice is a purr when he next speaks.

"Thank you, I believe I will. And please, call me Kaworu."

Ugh. You shiver as your cheeks catch fire yet again. Who is this boy, this boy who walks into your life and not a minute later strikes you speechless with his gently spoken words? Nagi—no, Kaworu. Kaworu is the biggest anomaly to step into your life since Unit 01. Part of you is screaming _run away, quick it's dangerous_, but another, quieter part of you is whispering _what if_. He's altogether too much, but you are drawn in regardless. On a first name basis so soon? You feel a warm flicker of courage rise in your stomach and you're already speaking before you can second-guess yourself.

"Call me Shinji, then."

Kaworu dips his head. "All right then, Shinji."

Asuka makes a retching sound off to your right. You start a little, having forgotten the presence of the other girls. You glance over at her, but any words you would have spoken die in your throat once you see her eye roll. A look back at Misato confirms your theory—you are going to get so much crap for this when you get home.

Misato, wary of your silent flailing, comes to your rescue. "O-kay, then. Introductions. I'm Katsuragi Misato, but just Misato is fine. These kiddos are Ayanami Rei, Asuka Langley Soryuu…and I guess you already know Shinji, huh." She winks at Kaworu, and you actually want to die. Rei bows respectively but remains silent, and Asuka scoffs, returning to her slouched posture.

She sighs, as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. "Well this was uneventful. Does HQ have anything they want us for, or are we free to leave? I'm meeting up with Hikari in a few hours." Misato shakes her head in the negative.

"Nope. You are free to go. I'm just going to be taking Kaworu around, show him the ropes, blah blah, official stuff. He _does_ need to get a feel for the facility after all, if he's gonna be any use during an Angel attack. Come with me, Kaworu?"

Kaworu nods, and shoots one last glance in your direction before following Misato's already retreating form. When he passes you, you swear you feel his hand brush your elbow. Asuka snorts at the sudden tenseness in your body.

"Come on, idiot." She takes off with long, brisk strides. Rei has managed to disappear, too. You follow Asuka, steadily not glancing back. You kind of feel like someone's taken a hammer to your composure, and right now, sitting down and staring at a wall for a few hours seems like a good idea. Your hope is quickly shattered however, when Asuka returns to your side with a hissed, "Oh, and don't think I let that whole…encounter…slip past me. You're gonna start talking, soon as we get home."

You let out an internal moan of pure suffering and accept the inevitable.

_Kaworu had forgotten what it felt like to have Shinji's attention focused solely on him. He revels in the memory of the bright blush on Shinji's face, the soft, hesitant words, and puzzled fascination over Kaworu himself. _Confused attraction,_ Kaworu thinks, remembering his past lives. The first meeting never got old, no matter how many time loops he went through. These particular loops were his favorite, the ones where he came to NERV before the Third Impact. Shinji wasn't as broken yet, hadn't completely lost all hope. They only had short, fleeting moments together, and their coexistence never lasted more than a few days, but these loops were full of a tenderness not present in the loops that took place post-Third Impact._

_"Are you alright back there?" Misato asks, and Kaworu realizes that he's been so deep in thought, he's fallen behind. He picks up his pace a little, falling into step beside Misato once again._

_"Ah, I'm fine. A little lost in thought, that's all," he replies easily. Misato shoots him a knowing grin._

_"Be careful with little Shinji, got it?" Her tone is light and teasing, but Kaworu senses the sincere concern behind her playful words and returns her smile._

_"I will."_

_She laughs, satisfied, and returns her gaze to the path ahead of them, beginning to explain the layout of NERV that he already knows by heart. Kaworu feels bitterness rise in his chest, like bile, and he drops his eyes to the floor. His smile falls, and he is filled with a soul-deep pang of self-loathing._

I will try.

Two days have passed since Kaworu arrived, and you are practically crawling up the walls in desperation. You physically cannot spend any more time cooped up with Misato and Asuka. Ever since that fateful meeting, they've interrogated you and teased you nonstop. Kaworu this, and Kaworu that. You've known the guy for all of five minutes, and yet your roommates act as if you two have been in a committed relationship for years. Pen-Pen has been absolutely no help either, not that you were expecting any. It's gotten to the point where you are willing to run out and do errands, even going on detours so that getting home takes longer. Thank god the sync tests are today-anything to get you out of the house and separated from the two lunatics living with you, even if it's an Eva-related distraction.

For once, you are the first out of the apartment, surprising both Misato and Asuka. You put some distance between yourself and the two of them before slowing to a normal pace. The walk to NERV is much shorter than you remembered it being, aided by the fear of the two females behind you. Once you arrive at headquarters, you make short work of snatching up your plug suit and booking it to the changing room. The faster you get in the plug, the faster you avoid any unnecessary comments. You're actually a bit out of breath when you pull open the door and step inside, not really paying attention to your surroundings. It's a big mistake, you find, upon actually looking around only to find Kaworu standing right in front of you, in the process of pulling on his plug suit.

"Wh-AGGHHH!" You sputter intelligently, stumbling backwards and dropping your own plug suit in the process. _Oh, right_. Kaworu is a pilot too. It shouldn't be a surprise that he would be changing like the rest of you, but you, master of keeping calm and collected, seem to have forgotten that. The fact that you continually embarrass yourself in front of the new pilot is a depressing indicator of how your relationship will proceed. Somehow, he appears not to have heard your outburst (although you know that's impossible), continuing to change into his plugsuit.

Said suit is pulled up a little past his waist, but you notice he's still wearing his shirt, for some reason. As if in response to your thought, he wastes no time in pulling off his shirt with obvious disregard for your presence. You momentarily consider looking away, or moving to a different changing area to give him some privacy, but that thought flies out the window once you catch a glimpse of the taut lines of his back.

Kaworu is slim in appearance, but he is not lacking in muscle definition. As he tosses his shirt to the side, you almost sigh, watching the ripple of his back muscles. You can hardly tell from his position, but you're sure that he has defined chest and abdominal muscles as well and _oh my god his plugsuit is actually resting in a way that you can see the dips in his lower back oh god oh god_. You screw your eyes shut, feeling like a pervert, waiting for him to turn on you angrily. Nothing happens, though, and when you crack an eye open, you see he has pulled his suit all the way up and is making minor adjustments for comfort. He presses the decompression button on his suit, and with a puff of air, it becomes form fitting. The slight breeze ruffles his hair, and while you are temporarily mesmerized by it, you catch him glancing back at you with only the slightest turn of his head.

Kaworu looks mildly amused, but there's a darker, emotional edge to it that sends shivers down your spine. He doesn't say anything to you, but throws his clothes into a locker and then turns to walk out the door. He brushes past you so close, it could only be intentional. The door swings shut behind him, and you are left one part stunned and three parts confused. You take a few mechanical steps forward and then collapse on the floor, completely at a loss. You lie there until Asuka stumbles upon you and screams, "accidentally" kicking you in surprise and prompting you to actually change into your plugsuit. The two of you take very little time changing, and arrive at the testing area completely frazzled for different reasons.

Thankfully, Kaworu is already submerged in the plug, therefore eliminating any chance of yet another awkward encounter. Rei, of course, being the first to arrive, is under as well.

The sync test itself is rather uneventful, if a little tiring. You finish up quickly—as does Asuka—but Rei stays submerged under Commander Ikari's orders and Kaworu has a few extra tests to run. You and Asuka slip into your normal clothes without talking. She leaves before you, no doubt in a hurry to meet up with Hikari for a study session (of benefit to Hikari, not Asuka herself).

You exit the changing room a few minutes later. You realize, much to your annoyance, that because of this test, your cello practice has been thrown off schedule. It's too late tonight, but you figure tomorrow morning might be a good time to squeeze in some practice, if Asuka doesn't toss you out of the apartment first for interrupting her beauty sleep.

Your thoughts almost distract you from the big window in the changing room hall that opens onto the sync test area. You intend to walk past as usual, but something stops you.

Or rather, someone stops you.

_It's Kaworu's first sync test,_ you think. _He might be a little worn out, or maybe confused as to what he should do next. Maybe he dislikes the smell of LCL as much as I do, and wants to take a shower. With...with me._

The last thought is ridiculously and unnecessarily intimate, and you immediately disregard it. Nevertheless, your feet refuse to take you out the exit and towards your shared apartment, but rather out past the sync test entrance area and no further. You rock back and forth on your heels, debating whether or not to just leave. You finally settle on not, and sit down on a bench, pretending like you aren't waiting for a certain someone to finish up their sync test. You doubt you'd fool anyone, what with the constant glancing at the automatic doors and fidgeting. Honestly, you thought you'd gotten rid of the habit.

It isn't even ten minutes later when the doors open and Kaworu steps out, fully dressed. He has an amused, if slightly surprised expression on his face. He walks toward you with a confidence you can't help but envy, hands in his pockets, like he has no idea his presence is making your stomach flip. Granted, he probably doesn't, but your stomach _is_ flipping and he looks so impossibly strong and in control.

"You were waiting for me?" Kaworu's voice has a note of surprise in it.

Panic flutters in your chest_. Oh god what if this is a mistake it has to be no one this magnificent should deign to speak to me I am nothing he has no reason to treat me well…_

"Oh, no I did…I didn't mean to…" You reply hesitantly. _Bullshit,_ your mind interrupts. _How can you say that, after all that vacillation between leaving and staying? You _wanted_ to wait for him_. The noise inside your head is loud and the wave of nervous second-guessing is washing over you, but you refuse to let it take a hold of you. You can do this. Kaworu is a pilot, just like you, and a human being himself. A _kind_ human being at that, from what you've gathered. You look up at him, filled with uncertainty.

His only response is an amiable smile and a quiet, "Oh?"

He's patient with you, and once again, you get the feeling as if he's reading your mind—like he can see all the indecision in your mind and is allowing you time to sort through your thoughts. You are overwhelmingly grateful for this small kindness (too often people have demanded answers and decisions from you immediately without taking the time to understand that you _just can't_ work that quickly). You let out a soft breath.

"Ah, well, the usual tests are over, so I was going to take a shower before I went home. But nowadays, I don't really want to go home…" You think of Asuka and Misato's taunting and want to groan aloud. Really, you can't deal with them again this soon.

"It's nice to have a place to go home to. That fact makes you happy, whether or not you're aware of it."

Kaworu's voice flows smoothly, in a way that makes even the simplest words soothe the tension from your body. You suppose he's right, but you also suppose he might be a little bothered if he knew that he's part of the reason you are avoiding home.

"Is that so…" You murmur in reply.

"I want to talk to you some more. May I go with you? To the shower, I mean."

And suddenly, it's like someone has taken a cattle prod to the base of your spine. Your heartbeat elevates, and your stomach curls into itself once again. Kaworu has leaned forward a little, his full attention resting solely on you, and you are completely stunned. Haven't you been stuttering? Aren't you an awkward and unsociable person? Didn't you walk in on him changing?

Why is he still choosing to approach you, asking to spend more time with you? You have literally done nothing to earn his undying attention and focus. And yet…

"…W-why?" You manage. You know how nervous and pathetic you probably look, and you also know that he can see every miniscule move you make. He can see, and he notices. As if realizing how close he has put himself to you, Kaworu straightens up, but does not step away.

"Why? Hmm…you may not understand this yet, but you are a very important person to me, Shinji. And besides, we are both pilots. We should get to know each other, no? Ah, but I've been a bit forward. I understand if you'd rather go alone." He takes a single step back, still smiling, and you jolt into action.

Words pour out of your throat, and your right hand reaches out to him, just a little. "Ah, no, that's not what I meant! I…well, I just wondered why, that's all. Actually, I'd like to talk to you some more, too." You flush, not having planned to admit that last part. Kaworu blinks at you, and you wish his eyelashes weren't so pretty. He steps forward again and reaches out to grab your still partially extended hand, pulling you to your feet. You allow this, still a little bit overwhelmed. His palm is actually rougher than yours, which surprises you. He looks so soft and light, but the touch of his hand and the sharp strength in his eyes suggest a gentle but indomitable power inherent in his being.

He lets go of your hand, but the pads of his fingers skim across yours, and for a moment you feel as if some of his graceful light has flowed into your body from where your fingers touch. A sudden, clear thought appears in your mind. _It will be alright,_ you think. _I don't really understand why Kaworu has chosen me, but if it's by him…I get the feeling everything will be alright._ His quiet acceptance fills you with elation. When he turns to head for the showers, you follow without a second thought.

_Kaworu didn't mean to seduce Shinji, really, he didn't. The opportunity simply presented itself, and Kaworu, being a bit of an opportunist, acted on it. To be honest, it wasn't really fair—Shinji was already so confused about what he even felt towards Kaworu at this point, but Kaworu _knows_ and Kaworu has needs, too. He needs to see Shinji smile, he needs to touch him and talk to him, and he needs to be the one who will always love Shinji, unconditionally. And if Shinji never actually looked at him or acknowledged him or spoke to him, Kaworu supposes he'd be okay with that, too, as long as he gets the chance to make Shinji happy._

_But although that's pretty much all that Kaworu needs, that's not necessarily all that Kaworu _wants_. There are loops where he has had to dig his fingers into his arms to keep from pulling Shinji close to him, loops where he has had to physically turn his head away to keep from kissing the corner of Shinji's mouth, loops where he has gripped his sides because he remembers _that person right there they hurt his Shinji he'll kill them he'll kill them they hurt his Shinji._ And in those moments, Kaworu nearly forgets that he's here for a purpose, that there's a reason he keeps looping, and he just _**wants**_._

_So when he's presented with a situation such as the one that occurred in the locker room, Kaworu doesn't try particularly hard to stop himself from stretching his muscles a little more than usual, from letting his plugsuit slip dangerously low on his hips, or from gazing at Shinji how he always, always wants to, but never can. He's well aware of the damage he's doing to Shinji's composure, how he's making Shinji even more confused, but there's a certain frustration that drives his actions. He sometimes wishes that Shinji would just _remember,_ let the wall fall down between them, and just let Kaworu in already (but then Kaworu remembers how many times Shinji's killed him, how many times he's _made_ Shinji kill him, and he's pretty grateful Shinji doesn't remember any of it)._

_Kaworu's a bit relieved that he didn't scare Shinji away with his earlier display. Shinji waits for him, just like he does in all of these particular loops, blushing at having been caught. Kaworu is patient, kind, giving Shinji the time he needs to gather himself. He makes his offer, enjoying Shinji's surprise, anticipating what is to come. He is so familiar with this scene, played out in many, many different loops, that when Shinji asks why, Kaworu is completely caught by surprise._

_'Why' is not a question Shinji ever bothered to ask him, and Kaworu is completely thrown off, though he forces any change in expression from his face. He straightens up, heart pounding faster. _This is new…this never happened before…could this be…_ Kaworu fights back the tidal wave of _hope_ that nearly swallows him, and looks hard at Shinji. Kaworu can see the uncertainty written all over his face, the insecurity he has around Kaworu, and Kaworu nearly sighs._

_He believes that Shinji is a rather misunderstood person. He has flaws and weaknesses, yes, but that is just the nature of Lilin. Shinji is not a superhuman—he can't live to fight like Asuka, shut down his emotions like Rei, or disregard fear like Mari. He is the epitome of humanity—weak, selfish, and frightened, but also desperate for love and surprisingly strong when the situation calls for it. Kaworu does not love Shinji because he is perfect, but rather, _because_ of the flaws that to others make him "imperfect"._

_Kaworu isn't really sure how to articulate the nature of his attraction to Shinji, nor how to put into words how deep his feelings go, mostly because he is not entirely sure himself. All he can do is tell Shinji that he is important, and if not to the world then at least to Kaworu he is so, so important. And Shinji, without fully understanding the _why,_ accepts Kaworu's answer and places at least a small amount of trust in him—the trust that Kaworu's intentions are benevolent._

This is enough,_ Kaworu thinks, turning to the showers. Even if he's not fully in control of this loop, just having a little bit of Shinji's trust is enough. Kaworu smiles, just slightly, to himself, holding down the bubble of hope that has been slowly rising in his chest._

_Who's to say that this loop won't be different? Who's to say the outcome won't change? Kaworu has a good feeling this time around._

* * *

famous last words Kaworu_  
_


End file.
